Hanky Panky Hullabaloo Kingdom Hearts edition
by Celestial-moon-fire
Summary: I did this for a contest. We had to take a movie or cartoon and replace with pairing characters, so here we are. Mainly done for the Marluxion, and the original show was called 'Ed Edd and Eddy' while the episode I used is called 'Hanky Panky Hullabaloo.'
1. Chapter 1

It was peaceful and quiet in the hallway. Valentines day decorations adorned the walls. A bus just pulled up to the schools main door… but none of that mattered.  
Outside Professor Vexen's classroom, the Kanker siblings were causing mayhem. Or, at least, Xemnas was. He was chewing paper and spitting it through a straw. Each one made a soft splat sound as they hit the glass.  
Xemnas's sister Larxene was filing her nails, which by now were sharp points. Marluxia, the youngest sibling, was laying on his stomach scribbling something on a heart-shaped page. Noticing this, Larxene smirked. She poked Xemnas hard on the cheek with her elbow, leaving a slightly purple mark.  
"Hey Xemnas, check out Mr. Vincent von stinkco!" She snickered before Xemnas could protest. He smirked, and stood up.  
"What's this?" He said, swiping it from his little brother as he admired his handiwork. "Aww, it's a Valentines card!"  
"It's for my boyfriend!" He cried, pouncing on Xemnas. As they rolled around, fighting each other, Larxene grabbed the Valentines card before it floated to the ground.  
"It's for that Demyx boy Xemnas!" Larxene said. Marluxia stopped wrestling with Xemnas and pounced on Larxene next.  
"GIVE IT BACK!" He landed on Larxene's face, the Valentines card flying in the air. He caught it with a huff and exclaimed "Demyx is the best boyfriend ever!" Marluxia gave Larxene a murderous glare before slinking off, the card held tightly in his hands.  
"Humph. Now we know who got Mom's genes." Larxene growled to Xemnas as he sifted through his locker.  
"Hormones. Heheheheh." He laughed, slamming his locker shut. Larxene followed Xemnas a moment after.  
Meanwhile, Marluxia was stomping own the hall, muttering mean things about his brother and sister. A little blonde fairy in white giggled. Her companion, another fairy in black with hair to match joined her.  
"Oh when nature stirs on Valentines day, and fills the children with their splendor," The black haired fairy started,  
"Suddenly their minds are stranger, with thoughts of love and words so tender!" The blonde fairy finished. They both giggled as they flew off.

"Let's learn!" Luxord yelled, sliding down the hall. "Last one to class is a-" He blinked. "What am I saying!?"  
"Oh, isn't Valentines day wonderful?" Zexion sighed. Demyx walked by Luxord and Zexion, laughing quietly to himself. When he noticed his friends were going the other way he stopped and turned around.  
"As I'm sure you're aware," Zexion said, "It can be quite unnerving to express ones coming feelings of amore. Yet this holiday conquers the upchuck of apprehension and allows one the opportunity to let that special someone know you care."  
Suddenly, Demyx put hand over Zexion's mouth and exclaimed "Yucky squishy mushy girls Zexion!" With a frightened look upon his face. Then he whispered "The fish have chips my fine friends." He let go of Zexion, who'd been lifted a few inches into the air. He landed on his face.  
Demyx chuckled again and worked at his locker. Zexion moaned, rubbing his poor abused nose. He lifted his head and got to his knees just as Demyx pried the locker open, a pile of garbage landing in front of the trio.  
"Hahah!" Luxord laughed. "Your locker stinks like a-"  
"An Onion." Demyx interrupted, holding the very vegetable for all to see. Zexion and Luxord cringed as he took a big bite and said, with his mouth full, "Girls do not like stinky breath." He went back to his locker, emerging with a paper bag head. A weird face was drawn on the outside to 'hide' his identity. "Camouflage, so girls cannot see you. AND! A Spider." He pulled a box from the bottom shelf of the locker. It was red with a few holes every here and there for air. "Girls do not like them. Naminé said so."  
The spider crawled up Demyx's arm, up his shirt, stopping at his throat. The feeling of hairy little legs tickling his throat made him laugh. "Tickly…" He pulled the bag up and he laughed, stopping mid ha, to scream "AHH! Spider!" Demyx ran in circles, waving his arms madly. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AHHHHH!!!!!"  
He tread through the garbage from his locker. His shoes made a slight squelchy noise as he ran down the hall. Luxord laughed, leaning against Zexion for support.  
"It's just too much Zexion!" He laughed harder still, if possible, as Demyx started splashing his shirt in the water fountain.  
"Oh for goodness sake- you're frightening the poor thing!" Zexion exclaimed, brushing the spider onto his hand. "All better…" He told the spider, letting it lose on a window sill.  
"Ahh, you babies got it light." Luxord said suddenly, examining his fingernails. "Yep, valentines day is just the same old grind for this chick magnet." Zexion couldn't help but smirk. No one else in the school but himself and Demyx liked Luxord. Well, there was the Kankers, but really.  
Luxord flicked his locker's combination lock. It opened and he pulled the door to access his locker.  
Out of the small, rectangular space, a wooden stand at least the size of three and a half lockers popped out,. The light dimmed, a mirror ball flew out from the side. Romantic music started playing as Luxord took a place behind the stand.  
Zexion leaned up to read the sign. 'Kiss the hunk…?' he shook his head.  
Luxord slammed a glass jar down on the counter, and, voice amplified by an invisible microphone, he said "Twenty-five cents a smooch, ladies! Line forms to my left!" He rang a bell and waited.  
… And waited.  
And waited…  
"Heh, they must be freshening up in the can." He smirked.  
Zexion rolled his eyes. "In the can… Right… Ah, while we're waiting," he pulled a pack of cards from his bad. "I have something for you." He handed a card to Demyx first. "Happy Valentines day, Dem."  
"Bath time already?" He replied, pressing the card against his face for some reason.  
"Luxord…" He handed Luxord the card. It had Nikola Tesla on the front. It said in bold letters, 'You electrify me!'  
Luxord stared. "You electrify me? And who the heck's THIS guy?"  
"Nikola Tesla, Luxord. It's part of my, 'great minds of science' Valentines series." Zexion chuckled.  
"It has a mind Luxord!" Demyx pointed out. Luxord stared for a moment.  
"Ain't you supposed to give these to girls?" Before Zexion could reply, someone rang the bell on the other end of the stand. Luxord's his eyes lit up. "A customer!"  
As the three caught a closer look the girl approaching, they each gasped and shrieked at the same time. (Is that even possible?)  
She had pink hair that reached her shoulders, was quite tall, and, oh yea, the she wasn't a she. It was a he. Marluxia Kanker. Marluxia had a crush on Demyx, constantly chasing him and kissing him when he got the chance.  
"Happy Valentines Dem!" Demyx pulled the bag over his face, but Luxord pulled it off, hiding his own face from Marluxia. Demyx grabbed at back. Marluxia walked past the stand, and the cowering Luxord behind it.  
"You're the handsomest sweetest man in the land! Will you be mine?" He held open the card he made earlier for Demyx to read.  
Demyx screamed, running down the hall. The bag on his head fell down, covering his eyes. "Ahhhh! Yucky mushy girls!" He slammed into the wall, turned around, and ran back the way he came. In the process of escaping his obsessed stalker, he knocked him over and accidentally destroyed the card.  
Luxord was in hysterics, tears streaming down his face as he fought for breath. Someone rand the bell on the stand. He immediately stopped laughed. "A customer!" He grinned before puckering his lips. His eyes widened. It was Sora. He pulled himself back immediately. "In your dreams pal!"  
Sora slammed his fist on the stand. "Get this hunk a junk outta the hallway and get to class!" He growled.  
Luxord glared. "Don't let your brains go to your head Mr. Hall Monitor."  
Sora smirked. "Oh, you just got yourself a detention, pal!" He wrote something on a slip of paper and dangled it in front of Luxord's face. Luxord grabbed it. Muttering things under his breath, he shoved the stand back in his locker.  
"Come now, Sora," Zexion put his hand on Sora's shoulder. "Why take away the emotional sincerity of Valentines day with a detention slip?" Sora brushed his hand off. He scribbled something down and handed Zexion a slip. "That's for sticking up for Dorky!" He stomped off leaving Zexion to stare at his detention slip.  
"B-but I've never had a detention!?"  
As Luxord walked by to head to class, Sora came back and kicked him. "Move it slouch" He laughed, chasing after Luxord.  
'D-detention!? ME!?' He thought, standing still for a few minutes, until… Was that… Crying? Zexion looked down the hall. Marluxia was gone now. 'Hmm…' He followed the noise to the janitors closet. The crying was coming from behind the door. 'It sounds almost like…' he pushed the door open. "Marluxia?"  
"He HATES me!" He sobbed, hugging his knees. A small pool of tears surrounded his pink haired classmate. Zexion frowned. As much as he didn't like the Kankers, it saddened him to see Marluxia in tears on valentines day.  
Briiiiiiiiiiiing! Zexion looked back in the hallway. He was late for class now. What was a few more minutes now?  
"Umm, I'm sure it's nothing like that! Demyx is just being shy." He glanced at the bell again, then turned his gaze once more on Marluxia. "Oh dear… Don't you think we should be getting to class?"  
"I've g-got no Valentine f-for Valentines day…" He replied sadly.  
Zexion frowned, wondering how he could help cheer him up. He remembered the stack of cards in his hand… With a smile, he whipped out a black pen and crossed out 'Kairi,' replacing it with Marluxia. "I'm sorry, I really must get to class." He handed him the card. "Um, Happy Valentines day Marluxia." He said before leaving.  
Marluxia sniffed and wiped his eyes. "N-naturally I select y-you?" He read aloud. On the front was Charles Darwin. A small smile appeared on his face. He got up and looked out the door. Zexion was running to class, repeating 'late late late LATE!'  
"Z-Zexion-" Marluxia suddenly felt something sharp poke him from behind. A feeling so strong pulsed through him he nearly did a back flip. Suddenly, Demyx didn't matter anymore. All he could think about was Zexion.  
As Marluxia literally floated down the hall, two fairies appeared.  
"And so the sprig of love is seeded within the Kanker boy," the blonde fairy started.  
"But still another half is needed for this blossom to unfurl!" The black haired fairy finished. They both giggled happily and flew off to find the other half.

Saix was just finished at the water Fountain when he smelt it. "Saix smells the imply scent of mountain sprites coming to make mischief among us!" He growled.


	2. Chapter 2

Xemnas and Larxene sat in their science class, giggle over an anatomy book. Down the table, Zexion was working on his project with chemicals. He looked up, a look of annoyance shown on his face as Demyx walked by, wearing the class skeleton model.  
"Boy am I parched!" He said, the Skeletons feet dragging along the ground. Luxord followed behind, chuckling.  
"Man are you gonna get in trouble!"  
Zexion sighed, looking at Luxord. "Some of us are here to LEARN, thank you." He stated, looking back at his book. He didn't notice Marluxia float (yes, float) up behind him.  
"Hiya Zexion!" Zexion jumped a little, not looking up from his book yet.  
"Ah, feeling better Marluxia?" He finished reading the sentence he was on and looked up. Marluxia said nothing. 'Why is he… floating?' "Well, nice talking to you! So much work to do, yes, work work work!" He scribbled random scientific words into his notebook. "I heard this assignment is worth forty percent of our term."  
Marluxia leaned in close and whispered oh so quietly into his ear… "Can I be your partner?"  
'How do I… Wait… Oh for the love of all things…' "Marluxia," he started slowly. "I wo-" Suddenly an explosion knocked his forward, and he banged his face into the table.  
"Oh, waita go numbskull!" Luxord shouted. "you ruined my shirt!" Zexion rubbed his forehead and looked behind him. His friends were quarreling about the damage done to Luxord's clothing.  
'What a mess…' Zexion thought. He turned his attention back to Marluxia, who was glaring at Luxord and Demyx.  
"Stupid!" He yelled. "Don't you know never to mix Thoric Acid with Aquiess Benzin?"  
"Marluxia!?" Zexion exclaimed "I've never seen that side of you!" That was true. He'd never seen anyone in his class act so smart.  
"I've developed a mean bathroom deodorizer too!" He giggled nervously as he hovered over Zexion again.  
'How does he do that?' "Well, perhaps it's a conversation best held in a very busy public area, yes?" He said, sliding around Marluxia. As he backed away, he felt something prick his skin. A feeling of pure joy welled up inside him. He was so happy, he nearly did a back flip and sang aloud. Suddenly, he wasn't sure why he was backing way. He wanted to get closer…

"Now that Zexion's been stricken by the course of Cupid's will," the black haired fairy sang, lifting the now floating Zexion in the air.  
"Now there shall a note be written, as the plot gets thicker still!" The blonde one finished, lifting Marluxia the same way and dropping a paper and pen in his hand. They flew off in different directions, the love-struck teens in hand.

Saix snapped up, straight as a board, as the giggles reached his ears. "AGAIN!?" He exclaimed to Kairi, who's locker was just across the hall from his. "These mountain nymphs haunt Saix NO MORE!"  
Kairi and Sora gave him odd looks. "You're whack, dude." Sora laughed, slamming his locker.

The black haired fairy giggled, letting go of Zexion, who floated to his locker. With a sigh, he set to work on the combination, thinking of Marluxia the whole time. Suddenly, he noticed something sticking out of the top. A white paper with a heart drawn on it  
_"To my sweet lamb chop, won't you be my Valentine? Love, Marluxia"_ he read aloud, sighing. He didn't care about the look Luxord and Demyx exchanged, or the way Luxord laughed.  
"Marluxia is so stupid! He put your Valentine on Zexion's locker!" He snatched the card from Zexion and held it in front of Demyx's face.  
"Yuck! Mushy!" Demyx exclaimed, sticking his head through the floor. (Don't ask how, he just did it.)  
Luxord stuffed his book in his mouth, distorting his words and making his lip stick out. "Oh Demyx! I'm Marluxia Kanker! Won't you be my Valentine?" He imitated.  
"That's not funny Luxord." Demyx complained, His voiced echoed under the flooring.  
"Aw, what are you scared of?" Luxord spit the book out. "Girls don't bite stupid. They'll just slowly nag you to death." He crumpled the card into a ball and tossed it at the trashcan. The bell rang just as it landed inside. Zexion jumped in the can, searching for the card.  
Luxord and Demyx now had their gym cloths in hand. An odd green smoke was emitting from Demyx's.  
Luxord rolled his eyes. "Look at him! Not only is he the teachers pet, now he's kissing up to the janitor!" He frowned. "Hey! We're gonna be late for class Zexion."  
Zexion still searched the trashcan.  
Luxord whacked Demyx on the back of the head. "Demyx! Fetch." Demyx shrugged and tossed Zexion over his shoulder, running after Luxord.  
"Turtledove…" Zexion sighed lovingly. "Till whence we meet again…" He neatly folded it in two and tucked it in his pocket.

Sora examined his clipboard intently. Checking to make sure everyone was in class, of course. That's what his job was as gym assistant. He didn't notice as Saix slowly snuck by, muttering nervously to himself.  
"Gym assistamt sir, watch me!" Axel said, doing pushups at twice his normal speed. Sora looked for a moment. "Look sharp Roxas, he's working us!" He said with a smile to a wooden board face down on the ground. Sora rolled his eyes.  
Just then Luxord walked in. "What, you again?" Sora sighed. Luxord was glaring at him.  
"The things I do for extra credit…" He stared back at Luxord, glaring just as fiercely.  
"Here, present, chip, yo, ready when you are!" Demyx was running over while gently pulling on the floating Zexion by the back of his shirt. Moments after he stopped, he put his hand in the air and said "May I be excused?"  
Zexion landed on his feet. "No. Today, you're going to be climbing rope." Sora couldn't take his eyes of Zexion. There was something odd about him… Were those hearts floating over his had? Axel jumped up with Roxas in hand.  
"Right on!" Axel lunged for the rope, climbing faster than Sora had ever seen anyone climb before. He rang the bell at the top in no time.  
On the other side of the gym, Kairi was leading the Kankers to the badminton net.

"All right you guys," she started, jogging in place. "Today's class is going to be like, so much fun!"  
"Sounds like a dare, huh, Marluxia?" Xemnas said.

'Marluxia!' Zexion turned quickly to search for his pink haired turtledove. There he was! Staring right back at Zexion. He sighed, wishing he were on the iother side of the gym today… All he could do right now was wave.

"Okay," Kairi said, "That's not cool!" Xemnas and Larxene were sword fighting with badminton racquets. Marluxia was leaning against the net. He too his racquet and bent it to resemble a heart. He held it up, Zexion right in the middle…  
He giggled as Zexion blew him three kisses.

Luxord stared at Zexion, then across the gym. "Hey, no neck!" Sora called, interrupting his thoughts. "Your go." Just as Luxord turned, the rope slammed into his face.  
He growled. "I ain't climbing no stupid rope!" He swung the rope back to its original place.  
Sora took the rope. "Oh you're climbing it, or I'm telling the teacher." He swung the rope back, and this time Luxord caught it with his hands.  
Grumbling, he started to climb. Just as he reached for the bell at the top, he slipped, sliding down the rope.  
"ROPE BURN!" He shrieked.  
"Zexion!"  
Demyx looked at Zexion, who was still stareing across the gym. He pulled him around to face Sora. "Wakey wakey!" Zexion skipped around Sora once."  
"Um, you're up."  
Zexion sighed, skipping around the rope once as well, talking a contraption made of an egg beater and other various parts from seemingly no where. He attached it to the rope, flicked the on switch, and rang the bell when it pulled him to the top.  
Sora stared.

"I wanna wear his hair…" Marluxia sighed lovingly.  
Xemnas examined his brother, turned to Larxene, and said "What the heck's she talking about?"  
"Look at her face, she's probably contemplating again."  
Suddenly, kairi blew a whistle. "A little less talk and a little more badminton please." She threw the birdie to Larxene, who hot it back at her in annoyance. Larxene and Xemnas collapsed with laughter.


	3. Chapter 3

"So who's next?" Sora asked.  
"Roxas's turn!" Axel pointed at his wodden buddy. Sora glared at him.  
"Zip it cactus head!"  
"Look at me!" Demyx called, standing on a basketball hoop with the rope in hand. "I'm as helpless as a kitten in a tree!" He pulled a paper bag over his head and jumped.  
"Go lumpy go!" Luxord called, lauging when he rammed headfirst into the other hoop.  
Luxord smiled, pushing Zexion onto the mat belo the rope. "He shoots," as Demyx swung back down. "He scores!" He called out laughing again as Zexion was knocked into the air, falling through the first hoop.  
He landed on his head.  
"Lamb chop!" Marluxia yelled across the gym. Demyx finally let go of the rope, landing on Sora, who pushed him off angrily.  
"You just got yourself a detention!" Demyx smiled, taking the slip of paper, just as the bell rang.

Demyx and Luxord burst through the locker room door, laughing. Axel and Roxas folowed, watching confusedly.  
"How do I know what they're laughing about Roxas?" Axel said to his wooden buddy.

Back inside the gym, Marluxia was holding Zexion's head off the floor. Tears sparkled in the corners of his eyes. "Speak to me lamb chop! Are you hurt!?"  
Zexion's eyes fluttered open, and he smiled. "You're gaze alone would heal any wound." he replied, blushing.  
"You're so adorable! I could just eat you up!" Marluxia said.  
"Bon appetite Turtle Dove, for I am basted and ready to serve." Zexion replied.

Kairi stared at Marluxia and Zexion from across the gym. "Dude," she said to Sora, "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"  
Sora stopped scribbling on his clipboard to look where Kairi pointed.  
His mouth hung open for a moment before saying "Man, that's sick…"

"Now the grasp of love has started, and the secrets about to unfurl," the black haired fairy sung.  
"Never shall the pair be parted, by another boy or girl!" He companion finished. The two giggled, watching another moment before flying away.

Xemnas stood outside the girls room, waiting for his sister. Bored, he looked around the gym, eyes suddenly stopping on Marluxia and Zexion. "Yo Larxene!" He said, just as she opened the door. "Looks like that man of yours is flirting with you brother."  
Larxene stared in a mix of shock, anger, and surprise.

Later, in the art room Larxene found herself at an easel, paining a picture off herself throwing Marluxia off a cliff. She muttered terrible things about him under her breathe.  
At one of the table. Xemnas and Marluxia were working on their own projects. Xemnas was gluing macaroni to the edges of a license plate, and Marluxia was doodling hearts on a red piece of paper.  
Xemnas stopped his gluing and watched Marluxia absently write 'Mr. Zexion Kanker' inside a heart.

"Come on Demyx hurry before the teacher sees you!" Luxord danced around the table, laughing to himself.  
Demyx was carving money signs into a rectangle of wood. "All done Luxord. You owe me a buck." He said, tossing the screwdriver over his shoulder and showing off his art.  
"No problem DaVinci, give me a second and I'll go print you one!" Luxord garbbed the rectangle and sped off to the printer.  
Demyx sat at the table, grinning. Luxord rolled his eyes. "Come on stupid!" Demyx jumped up, and placed crudely drawn cardboard cutouts of himself and Luxord before following.  
Luxord pulled a moveable blackboard in front of the printer to hide their actions.  
"We'll print up a million bucks before class is over!" He laughed, trying to find the place to put his wooden money.  
"Here's the ink Luxord!" Demyx shouted, squirting it all on the paper."  
"How does this thing work?" Luxord wondered aloud. Staring at it. He peered around the side of the board at Zexion. "Psst!" Zexion didn't hear him. "Zexion!"  
Zexion lifted his head and sighed.  
Luxord glared. As he was about to go up closer, Demyx yelled ""Head up Luxord!" He turned his head in time for a large splash of ink to cover his face.  
"Demyx!" He yelled attacking him.

Zexion sighed again, staring into space. He lifted his head as someone tapped him.  
"I'm a little squirrel, and this nuts for you!" Axel grinned, dropping a card in front of him.  
Zexion smiled, flipping it open. 'I luv u!' was written under a rainbow. A candy heart saying 'be mine' was taped inside. "A sweet from my sweet!" He pulled the candy off, and read "Be mine" to himself.  
He scribbled something obn the card and gave it back to Axel, who ran it across the room to Marluxia.  
His eyes widened, and he scribbled something under Zexion's words, sending it back via Axel. The two repeated the process several times. People were beginning to watch.  
Larxene was one of them. Steam came from her ears and the unfortunate paintbrush in her hands was snapped in half. She dropped the pieces and pounced, attacking Axel to get the card. "Let me see that!" She snarled.  
"No I can't!" axel protested. "It's against squirrel policy!"  
"GIMME IT!" She yelled, grabbing for it.  
"Nuts to you!" Axel said, stuffing it in his mouth and swallowing.  
"You're Such a WEIRDO!" Larxene yelled, getting to her feet.  
"What are you doing!?" Luxord yelled, ,causing her to look behind her. Ink was pooling out from under the portable blackboard. Some squirted in the air, staining the walls and ceiling.

"Splish splash, I'm taking a bath Luxord!" Demyx answered, being flipped about in the printer.  
"Zexion!" Luxord cried out, "Do something! Stop this crazy thing!" He covered his ears as a whole was blasted through the portable blackboard.  
Ink waves filled the room, carrying Zexion on the top of one.  
"Lamb chop…" Marluxia sighed, grabbing his hands and the table to keep themm from being washed away in the ink.  
"Turtledove…" Zexion sighed in reply, staring into his eyes as the waves passed.

"Lamb chop?" Luxord asked no one in particular, hanging on to the top of the board.

"Turtledove?" Xemnas said, sitting with his back against the wall.

Both parties watched as the two jumped off the table, hand in hand. "I've got some stain remover we can share." Zexion said. "Care to partake?"  
"You can." Marluxia agreed, opening the door so they could find Zexion's locker.

Luxord worked at the lock on Zexion's locker, smirking when he heard a click. "Bingo." He pulled the door open, and began searching the perfectly organized locker.  
"Opposite attraction and you?" He read, tossing a book over his shoulder. It hit Demyx in the face. "Relishing the repugnant?" He tossed another book over his shoulder, hitting Demyx again just as the firt book hit the floor.  
"Yum, relish!" Demyx smirked.  
"Diametric doting done easy?" Another book hit Demyx in the nose. "I don't get it!"  
Demyx looked up. Something was on his head. "Look Luxord!" he said, pointing it a flowery barrette. "A prize."  
Luxord studied it for a moment, a look of horror crossing his face. "It's Marluxia's barrette!" Demyx and Luxord stared for a moment. "Zexion's been poisoned with Kanker love Lumpy!"  
"Yucky evil mushy Luxord!" Demyz pulled a paper bag over his head.  
"And I've got a test after lunch. How am I supposed to steal his answeres if he's all May-Happy?" Luxord slammed the locker door shut.

"Get over it Larxene, that Zexion's always been a wolf in sheep's clothing." Xemnas said as Larxene ripped the door off Marluxia's locker.  
Larxene growled. "I could tell there was something going on! I bet he's with him right now!" She scanned the shelf and found a heart shaped box that said 'Marluxia' on the top.  
"What's this?" She pulled out the box. She opened it and Xemnas pulled out… A pristine white sock.  
"That's Zexion's sock! That CREEP!" She pulled the sock from her brother's grasp and held it up for them to strare at.  
"Flirtings one thing, but handing out your unmentionables is going TO far!" Xemnas growled. The two stomped down the hall, heading for the lunch room.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ba bud dum duh da…" Axel hummed, moving down the lunch line. He stopped next to the desert section. "Ah, look Roxas, Jelly hearts for Valentines Day!" he poked one a few times. "Weeee!" he laughed.

…

"Holy cow buddy, of course I washed my hands." He said. "WHERE do you think they've been?"

"Happy Valentines day Saix." Kairi said after Saix dropped his fish sandwich on the table and sat down.

"Poppycock!" He yelled. His sandwich began moving. Not in the mood for this, he whacked it hard as he could with a hammer, causing Kairi to wince and Sora to smile.

"Uh, so hey, Kairi. I uh, like, you know… Happy Valentines day?" Sora said nervously, handing her a card.

Kairi took is with a smile and said "Awesome! Thanks Sora. I got you a card too."

"Sweet."

Saix watched for a moment and yelled suddenly "ARE YOU ALL SO LOST TO THIS GREPENS OF AFFECTION?" Sora and Kairi stared. "Zexion and the Kanker boy have been smittened! Beware, lest you be next." He glanced around the room, and then whispered, "Take this." And produced two lemons from his pockets. "The lemons of exactitude. Squeeze its nectar into your eyes to see what can not be seen." Saix looked around, as if something were watching them." He stood up shakily and left the table."

"Right…" Sora muttered. The two dropped the lemons of the floor and went back to their lunch.

Meanwhile… Luxord and Demyx stormed through the door on the right side of the cafeteria. Xemnas and Larxene through the left. They met in the middle, with everyone watching.

"Well well well, if it ain't the siblings of the friend stealer!" Luxord yelled. Demyx pulled a bag over his head.

"Where's our Marluxia?!" Larxene roared back.

"And where's our Zexion!?" Luxord retaliated with as much force behind his words.

Larxene grabbed Luxord by the shoulder and shook him. "You've got THREE seconds to tell us where he's at! One. Two…" She raised her fist in the air and was about to say three, when Luxord suddenly smiled and pointed at something behind her.

"Hey isn't that an abandoned car axel?"

Larxene dropped him. "Where!?" While her back was turned, Luxord hurled a sandwich at the back of her head, knocking her to the floor.

"Nice shot…" Xemnas mumbled, leaning back to give his sister a bit of room.

"Heheh… Tell your stupid brother to stay away from our friend."

Xemnas garbed two hotdogs, and said "Tell your stupid friend to stay away from our brother!" He squeezed, and the hotdogs slipped from the buns, hitting him in the face and smearing the condiments in his face. He stumbled back into Demyx as Larxene and Xemnas laughed.

"Stand back matrons of make out!" Demyx suddenly said, holding his shoe in front of him.

The two recoiled, hoping the stench wouldn't knock them out.

"Kankers hate shoes Luxord." Demyx whispered slyly to his friend, pointing with his free hand at the shoe. Then, he was knocked over by a particularly hard lump of food.

"Food fight!" Axel yelled, taking cover under a table.

Both sides fought valiantly, hiding behind a table every now and then to restock their weaponry. Well… Luxord stayed back the whole time, letting Demyx to the throwing, but you get the idea.

Saix, trying to avoid the flying food, ran for a trashcan, overturning it and hiding within.

The fight went of for a while before Larxene and Xemnas pushed the table along swiftly into the others'.

With what seemed to be intent to strangle their victims, they each grabbed one of the guys around the neck and struggled to keep them from escaping. Somewhere during the struggle, Luxord had managed to get his teeth into Xemnas's leg.

"Hit him again!" Sora cheered. No one noticed the door open until…

"Greetings everyone." Zexion smiled. "Our valentines has come true." The pair danced around in a circle for a moment before grabbing hold go each other's hands again. "Has yours?" He asked everyone.

As he looked into Marluxia's eyes, he once again felt the happiness well up within, before he was suddenly yanked away violently but Luxord.

"Get a grip, Romeo! That's a KANKER you're fallin for!" Luxord yelled, pointing an angry, shaking finger at Marluxia.

Zexion struggled against him, trying to escape. Marluxia was suffering the same treatment, nearly in tears as Xemnas dragged him away.

"Forget the bum, Marluxia." Xemnas told him.

"Let me go!" Marluxia yelled, reaching for Zexion, who now was mirroring his movements. Angrily, Marluxia kicked Xemnas in the face and fell to the ground. Before he could regain his feet, Larxene pounced, and with a growl, pinned him to the ground.

"He's Trouble with a capital R, Marluxia." She told him.

Zexion was almost free, and just as he slipped from Luxord's grasp, Demyx jumped from a table and held him down. "Don't do it Zexion!"

"How could this have happened?" Sniffed the black haired Fairy. "Chaos reigns instead of love!"

"We will stop this chain of madness," her blonde companion drew her bow, filled with several arrows. "Fire at will from above!"

Her friend did the same, and together, they released the arrows.

Saix shivered inside his dark trashcan shelter, wincing several times as something imbedded itself in the metal several times. When the onslaught was over, he lifted the edge up and peeked outside.

"Happy valentines Dreamboat…" Xemnas sighed, holding hands with Sora.

"You're so awesome man…" Sora sighed back. Saix looked away quickly. His settled on Axel handing a bouquet of flowers to Kairi. She gave him a hug, both blushing. Saix shuddered and looked in a new direction.

"May I have this dance?" Demyx asked a sandwich. And there, Luxord was staring into the painted eyes of Roxas.

"Where have you been all my life…?"

Trembling with disgust and anger, Saix threw off the trashcan. "Fools!" From both pockets, he pulled out lemons, and opening his eyes as wide as possible, he squirted the juice into his eyes. He held back a scream of pain, and dropped the crushed lemons to cover his stinging eyes.

When the pain died down, he scanned the room with his puffy red eyes, seeing everything in yellow.

"Peek-a-boo… Saix sees yooouuu…" He laughed quietly to himself, watching the fairies fly around happily. He retreated to the janitor's closet and emerged with a bucket of dirty brown water, and of course, a mop.

"Be gone, cursed underlings of Valhalla!" He spun the mop and jumped on a table.

"Oops! We missed one Namine." The black haired fairy giggled.

"Saix awaits your response!" He called. He was answered by a barrage of cupid arrows, blocked by the mop. "You tickle Saix's radish…" He smirked, standing proudly unharmed on the tabletop. "Take this!" He swung the mop around wildly. "And this too!"

"Quick! Up here Xion!" Namine cried out, avoiding the mop as she flew towards the high corner of the room.

"Far from his swings!" Xion joined her at last, sighing with relief.

"Safe and sound at last!" She said, wiping her forehead just as the mop landed, slamming them both in the wall. "Ow that stings!"

Saix grumbled under his breath about the fairies as he opened a window and shook them off the mop. The sodden fairies landed hard on the ground, out cold.

Saix glared at his classmates.

Kairi and Axel were sharing spaghetti, Sora was trying to steer a gondola through the floor, and then Larxene…

"Come here often Saix?" She sighed, blushing. Her answer was a face full of water.

"Hug… What happened?" She said a sleepy confused look on her face.

"Weaklings!" He growled as he stalked past, dousing Luxord with water as well. "Rise and shine!"

"who what where!?" Luxord looked around wildly, and then noticed he was hugging Roxas. "Ahh!" He dropped the plank of wood and shuddered.

Saix headed for Kairi and Axel next. Then for Sora and Xemnas, who both looked around, confused. Xemnas punched him in the face, not likening his closeness. Then he turned his attention to Demyx, who… Had just kisses his sandwich. As the water soaked him, he fell over, and looked at the sandwich in confusion. With a shrug, he took a bite and chewed.

Finally, on the other side of the room, were Zexion and Marluxia.

"You make Saix sick…"

The pair were holding hands, drawing closer to each other. Zexion's heart raced. They were merely inches apart. Just as they were about to kiss, they were soaked by a sudden wave of water.

They looked up, both confused as to why they were holding hands.

"Marluxia!" Zexion said first. "Oh, um… Pardon me but I think I belong over there…" He stepped around him and backed up in between Luxord and Demyx.

Marluxia frowned, rubbing his arm as he came to a stop between his siblings. Everyone stared at each other, when Saix dropped the empty bucket on the ground.

"The harsh reality of your miserable lives has been restored." He smiled. "Thanks you." he said as he walked away.

The bell rang. They all left for the doors. "Saix is weird, huh Roxas?" Axel muttered.

Zexion looked around, feeling sad for some reason, before leaving himself.

"I can NOT believe this." Zexion complained. "ME. A detention to mar an otherwise impeccable school record." He stabbed a paper heart with the stick in his hand, and with wide eyes, said "What will mother and father think?"

"Quit your blubbering." Luxord sipped his odd lime flavored drink before continuing. "Me and Dem get at least two a week!"

"That's why I exfoliate." Demyx grinned. His friends stared in awkward silence for a moment.

"Besides," Luxord continued. "I'd been thinking about my reputation Casanova."

Zexion blushed, and wrung his hands together.

"Yeah! Zexion and Marluxia sitting in a tree!"

Luxord joined in, and together they sang "K-i-s-s-i-n-g!"

Zexion blushed even harder, pulling a hat he'd found in his locker over his head and sinking to the floor.

"Oh, what a tangled web Valentines day doth weave…" He said.

"Suck it Zexion, Demyx here fell in love with a sandwich!"

"Love is like an onion Zexion." Demyx suddenly pulled said veggie from a pocket in his coat. "The more you peel away its layers, the more it stinks." With a smug look on his face, he took a huge bite and chewed.

"Man I HATE it when he does that!" Luxord said, stepping back. Demyx swallowed and said 'watch' then yelled "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LUXORD!" And evil stench of onion flew from his mouth. Zexion covered his nose and turned his head away in time, but Luxord received the full force of the oniony stench. He passed out instantly.

As he lifted his head, Zexion noticed something in his pocket. He straightened his hat and pulled out the paper with a heart on the outside. It was the card from Marluxia.

"Luxord?" Demyx said.

Zexion ignored it, smiling as he read the card.

"Oh Luxord!?" Demyx cried again, slightly louder.

Zexion quickly, but neatly, folded the paper in half and tucked it under his hat before racing over to his fallen friend.

"Speak to me Luxord! It's only supposed to work on girls! LUXORD! Do something Zexion!"

Zexion smirked, a sudden idea coming to mind. "Perhaps a little, first-aid, Demyx?"

"Oh, I get it!" Demyx lifted his hand and pointed towards the ceiling as he had done the other day in health class.

"Mouth to mouth for Luxord!"

"Unfortunately, just then, Luxord had woken up. As Demyx forced his mouth open, he tried to tell him to stop. The last thing he saw before Demyx breathed the terrible onion breath into his mouth was Zexion, an evil look in his eyes as he told Demyx to inhale. Then, the last thing he heard, was him saying to blow.


End file.
